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    You are here : Home » Get Involved » MSRC Interactive » Help, Advice and Inspiration from people with MS » What Has Helped You » Medical / Supplements » Modafinil

    Modafinil

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    Adrianne Sebastian-Scott - Modafinil gave me back my soul
    ModafinilMS fatigue had stolen my soul... but now I'm alert and it's brilliant!

    For a year and a half my greatest ambition was to stay awake for four hours in a row. Or at least to be alert for the few hours I was awake, so that my world wouldn't seem so formless art grey.

    MS fatigue (with added fatigue from Tegretol) sapped not only my energy but also my ability to concentrate, my sense of humour, my creativity, my ambition and my hope. It had stolen my soul.

    However... (Drum roll, trumpet fanfare, sound of crowd cheering)... along came Modafinil!

    It didn't start off very well. For a couple of weeks I was even more exhausted than usual, I was nauseated, every bit of my body felt weird, my balance and co-ordination were worse, and I had the physical sensation of extreme stage-fright. I was getting all the side-effects of Modafinil before the benefits had had a chance to kick in. But within two weeks, most of the side-effects were gone and the drug started to work.

    A few days later, I sent the following e-mail to everyone I knew:

    For the past three days I've been needing only a couple of one-hour naps during the day. And I've been alert! I'd almost forgotten what 'alert' felt like. (The answer is - it feels brilliant!) I get occasional insomnia, but you just have to laugh at the irony of that, don't you? Insomnia? me???

    Today I got up, turned on the TV and was surprised to discover that I didn't recognise any of the newsreaders on any of the stations. The corner of the screen said '7:05: "Rats", I thought, "I've slept through the entire day again." And then one of the newsreaders said "Good Morning".

    Morning? How could this be true? Hundreds of possible, explanations occurred to me, but at no point did I give even the slightest credence to the patently absurd notion that it might actually be 7:05 a.m. And yet it was. I verified it with several third-party, independent sources - radio, television, computer clock, alarm clock, the clock on the church opposite, the BT speaking clock - basically anything I thought would be more reliable than my body clock. But it really was 7:05. In the morning. And I was wide awake!

    My wakefulness makes me want to run giggling into the street and irritate people with pseudo-American 'perkiness' - smiling at children, patting puppies' heads, and helping pensioners cross the street.

    After over a year of complete crap, everything is getting better! Hurrah!!! I've been walking around with an idiotic grin on my face. I'm totally excited about feeling alive in a way I had forgotten was possible. I am smitten with life.

    That was three months ago, and it's still all true. Obviously it's impossible to stay that excited about something without driving yourself and everyone else up the wall. And I can't pretend that there aren't some side-effects: I vomit occasionally, sometimes have insomnia, and I get cold easily.

    I still need to have a couple of naps during the day. I don't care. These things are minor inconveniences compared to the creeping hell of chronic fatigue.

    It isn't a miracle. Nothing is. But Modafinil has given me back my soul.

    Find out more on Adrianne's website.

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